


F you, Max.

by AliciaSinCiudad



Category: Elysium (2013)
Genre: Gen, Julio deserved better, Matt Damon being Matt Damon, Rated teen for swearing, That is not a good thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-13 19:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10520076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliciaSinCiudad/pseuds/AliciaSinCiudad
Summary: Starts out with the transcription of an actual scene from the movie (hand-transcribed, so sorry if there's any errors), but then it continues with how the scene should have ended. Can you tell where the transition is? Hint: it's where Julio shows any fucking agency at all.I have clearly put far too much thought into this terrible movie, of which I only watched the first half.





	

Max has gone to Spider to ask for a ticket to Elysium. Julio is there to physically support him, since he’s having trouble walking.

 

S: Yeah. Let me ask you a question. Do you have any idea how many idiots come in here saying the same kind of bullshit? I got little kids coming in here every day. Max, if I were you, I’d get the fuck out of here right now.

Max pulls a screwdriver or something and holds it to S’s throat.

J: Max, don’t. Hey, Max, don’t.

Everyone pulls guns. Someone yells “¡Cabrón!”

M: I did three years for you. After everything I did for you, you’re gonna get me up there. You’re gonna get me up there.

S: You feel this? (holding a gun to M’s gut)

M: Go ahead and shoot. I got so much radiation in my body, you’re probably getting a little sick yourself.

S: You’re really dying?

M: I’m fucking dying motherfucker. That’s what I said.

S: See this? (throws gun) It’s over. Put the gun down. Put the gun down! (Yelling at others who are holding guns to J and M) Put the gun down! Get out of here!

J looks kind of terrified.

S: Ok? Listen. I’ve been looking for someone to take a job for me. But no one here had the balls! You said you’d do anything, right?

J: Max.

They walk down a hall with flashing lights and lots of people. M falls. J helps him.

J: You ok?

M: I’m ok.

They enter another room.

S: Alright. Here we go. (Picks up the brain drive.) This, my friend, this can be your ticket up there. (Puts it in M’s hand.) One last job for me, you earn your way up.

M: What is it?

S: Take an Elysian asshole, right? A billionaire. He’s down on Earth for some business. He’s, he’s, he’s, he’s here for whatever. We hijack him.

J: Fuck that.

S: Ok, relax. It gets, like, much worse. Forget his watch. Forget his ride. Forget all that shit. This (points at his own forehead) is what you take. (Holds up brain drive bug thing) Organic information, right out of his head. Now I’m talking about bank codes, passwords, log-in data. Access to billions.

J looks concerned, scared, maybe disgusted.

S: All you have to do is plug into his brain, download the data into yours with this baby, and bring it to me.

J: This is crazy, Max. Come on.

S: Once we verify the data, I’ll get you a one-way ride, all expenses paid. Even throw in some snacks and a drink. All you have to do is walk into a house and use the med bay, and you’re cured. Sandro will do the surgery. You know him?

M starts to fall. S catches him.

S: What the fuck? Jesus Christ.

M: I’m good.

S: Actually, you seem all weak and fucked up, so you know what? I’ll have them…

J: This is crazy. Let’s get out of here, please. Listen to me.

M: What the fuck am I gonna do?

S: I’ll have them install this. A third-generation exo-suit. We hook this into your nervous system, it’ll make you as strong as a droid. You’re already under the knife, right?

J: Let’s get out of here. Please. (Looking at M, but M is looking at S)

M: I want a four man team, but I pick ‘em.

S: I’m sending my own data wrangler. Brain-to-brain data is real tough.

M: Ok. But I’m taking Julio. (Julio looks serious, unclear what he’s thinking.) He gets a ticket up there, same as me.

S: Yeah, sure. Ok. I’ll go get the boys ready.

M: Wait. (pause) It’s gotta be John Carlyle.

S: The CEO of Armadyne Carlyle?

M: That’s the mark.

J: Excuse me, I think you forgot something.

S: What now?

J: You heard Max’s conditions, right? I go with him?

S: Yeah?

J: I go with him. On this job. That I’ve been telling him not to do. Because it’s too dangerous for someone with, like, four days to live.

S: What are you saying?

M: Yeah, what are you saying?

J: (turns to M) Oh, suddenly you can hear me? Well hear this: Fuck you, Max. Fuck you and fuck your ticket to Elysium. I am getting the fuck out of here. Good luck walking home, you asshole. (Starts walking away)

M: Julio, don’t do this to me.

J (turns back) : Don’t do this to you? Did you think what you were doing to me? No, you didn't. You only think about yourself. ¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!

M: Bro, don’t get all Spanish on me!

J: I’m contractually obligated to speak between 5 and 10 percent Spanish, just enough to give my character a little flavor (or should I say, spice?) without it being so much that the monolinguals get scared off. The really tough guys, the ones who don't get dramatic music when they die, they get to speak as much Spanish as they want. But hey, at least I get to rock these sexy braids.

M: I wouldn’t call them sexy.

J: No one asked you. (chuckles) Get it? No one asked you? Like you didn’t ask me if I wanted to risk my life to save yours? I’m not the one who’s dying of radiation poisoning. Have fun with your last job, I’m going back to jacking cars and rocking a sweet tank top. ¡Adios!

 

**Author's Note:**

> But really, fuck you, Max.


End file.
